Funny Bleach Episode 9
by RukiaLady94
Summary: If I woke up in a bed full of horny cats, I would go crazy too. Lmao


Funny Bleach Episode 9: All Cats Love Yoruichi

It`s a beautiful morning. Everyone slept like angels.

[Yoruichi wakes up in a room filled with cats]

Yoruichi: What is it with all these cats in my room? GET OUT!

[Yoruichi gets out of the bed with all the cats following her]

Yoruichi: Get away from me! (Closes the door, locks it and screams) KISUKE!

Kisuke: Hi sweetie, what`s wrong?

Yoruichi: Don`t you hi sweetie me. Would you mind explaining to me why I have cats in my room?

Kisuke: Oh yeah. Well believe it or not, they are your family after all. I thought maybe you might want some company.

Yoruichi: (Arches an eyebrow) Excuse me? They`re not my family, you butt!

Kisuke: You are a cat as well. That makes them family. (Smiles)

Yoruichi: I will scratch that smile right off your face Urahara! I mean it! Get them out of my room now.

Kisuke: I thought you already did.

Yoruichi: If I did then I wouldn`t be asking you to, now would I? Besides, they won`t stop following me.

Kisuke: That`s `cause they love you.

Yoruichi: (Crying) WHYYYYYY. Why do they love me so much.

Kisuke: Let`s face it. You`re too sexy for your on good.

Yoruichi: Can we not talk about my sexyness right now?

Kisuke: It IS about that. I`ll be right back, wait here. There`s something I want you to see.

[Kisuke walks in her room and the cats scratch him like crazy]

Kisuke: OUCH! It`s me, uncle Kisuke. STOOOOP!

[Yoruichi hears something in her room]

(POOF!)

Yoruichi: What was that?

Kisuke: (Walks out holding a cat in his hand) Nothing you need to worry about. Let`s just say they`re sleeping like angels. Hehe. For at least a couple of seconds.

Yoruichi: I see you brought a cat...why?

Kisuke: Shh. Just watch. (Puts the cat down)

[The cat starts to lick Yoruichi`s foot and sleeps around it]

The cat: Meow.

[Yoruichi suddenly has a smile on her face]

Yoruichi: Awww. That is so sweet.

Kisuke: Yup. See? I told you they`re not so bad. They are fun and caring and loving creatures.

[The cat starts humping Yoruichi`s foot]

Kisuke: Oh. Well apparently too loving. (Laughs)

Yoruichi: What the fuck? Get it off me!

Kisuke: Just relax. They are more lovable then I thought.

Yoruichi: Relax? How can I relax when this cat is humping my leg like I`m some stuffed animal.

[Kon walks by just in that exact moment]

Kon: I heard that. (Keeps walking)

Kisuke: Um I should propably mention that all these cats are male. Hehe. Oops.

Yoruichi: (Smacks him) You`re telling me this now? You`re a freaking lunatic! Get these cats outta here right now!

Kisuke: Alrighty then. (Opens the door and gets knocked down by all the cats)

Yoruichi: Oh no. Kisuke!

[The cats start running wildy towards Yoruichi]

Yoruichi: (Screams while running away) Waaaaah! Somebody get these freaking horny cats away from meeeee! I`ll get you for this, Kisuke. WAAAH! (Still running)

Rukia: Hey Yoruichi. What`s up?

Yoruichi: (Is running by) Can`t talk right now. I`m being chased by horny cats.

Rukia: Horny cats? What? Is this some kind of joke? (Sees a bunch of horny cats running by, chasing Yoruichi) I guess not. maybe I should go help. Nah. She can handle it. Besides, it`s not like I heard her screaming my name for help..

(Yoruichi`s voice) RUKIA GET OVER HERE AND FREEZE THEM!

Rukia: Aaand there`s my calling. (Runs after them)

Rangiku: Hey Rukia. Where are you going?

Rukia: (Is running by) Can`t talk. I gotta freeze a bunch of horny cats. Later.

Rangiku: What the heck does she mean by horny cats...

Kisuke: (runs by) Cats in heat, Rangiku. Or something like that. I didn`t really pay attencion when they thaught that class.

Rangiku: Everybody seems to be in a hurry today. Oh well. (Picks up a random magazine and reads it) OOOUUUW MY EYES! SOMEBODY BURN MY EYES. CAN`T STAND HENTAI MAGAZINES! SOMEONE PLEASE BURN THEM AND PUT ME OUT OF MISERY! I THINK I`M GOING BLIND!AAAAAH. (Puts the magazine back and grabs an other magazine) Ah. Much better.

(Btw if you want to know what magazine she picked, it`s a sexy guy`s . Okay on with the show.)

Yoruichi: (Is still running with a bunch of horny cats chasing her) Alright. I didn`t want to do this but (Transforms into her catform) Alright listen up you horny cats. I don`t want you following me around anymore.

[All the cats start checkng her out]

Yoruichi: Stop that! Go away.

Kisuke: Oh good. You`re all here...but where`s Yoruichi?

Yoruichi: (jumps in his arms) Right here darling. (Smiles)

Rukia: Damn. So many cats. (Freezes them)

Kisuke: Thanks for your help, Rukia.

Rukia: Don`t mention it. Besides, it`s not every day you get to freeze a bunch of horny cats.

Yoruichi: (turns back into her human form completely naked and Kisuke falls with her on top of him)

Rukia: You always end up surprising people when you do that. (laughs)

Kisuke: (face turns red) Hey. You`re waking up mister happy. Down boy.

Yoruichi: Eww. (Stands up) So..let`s just kill the damn cats.

Rukia: Nah. You can use them as ice sculptures. (laughs) They are good decorations.

Kisuke: (stares at Yoruichi`s naked body) So sexy.

Yoruichi: I know. (Winks at him) You were right. I am indeed too sexy for my own good.

Rangiku: Wow. What happened here? And what`s with the ice sculptures?

Rukia: See? Aren`t they good decorations? Lol.

Rangiku: (stares at Yoruichi) So..how about that shower...

Yoruichi: (winks) Not today. I better go back in my room. It`s getting cold out here.

Rukia: Haha. I don`t feel anything.

Rangiku: That`s because you`re cold already.

Rukia: I know, right?

Kisuke: I`ll carry you to your room, Yoruichi. (Carries her in her room and the door closes..but with him in her room. Lmao)

Rukia: Well those two are going to be busy. (smiles)

Rangiku: You wanna...

Rukia: Oh oh.

Rangiku: You wanna...read hot guy`s magazines?

Rukia: Wow I didn`t expect you to ask me that. (laughs) Sure.

Rangiku: What, you thought I was going to ask you for a steamy hot shower and fool around? What kind of girl do you think I am? (Rolls eyes)

Rukia: Obviously an innocent one. (Reads hot guy magazine) They`re hot.

Rangiku: Yup and yeaaaah, they are. I wonder what happened to the cat ice scultures...

Rukia: Oh yeah. Soifon is using them for target practice. (Hears gunshots) Yup. Looks like she just started.

Soifon: (is shooting and blowing them up one by one) Woohoo. Yeah. Die, cat sculptures! Ha! I should do this more often. (Shoots)

And so the day turned out pretty crazy after all.

The End. 


End file.
